How I Hacked Online Dating For $22 & An AMC Movie Gift Card – [Step-By-Step Guide For Men]

It was CRAZY!

I had more responses from women I was attracted to than I’d ever had before.

I would literally log into to one of my dating site accounts, and have a dozen (or more) messages waiting for me.

I didn’t have to search through endless profiles…

I didn’t have to worry about whether or not that ONE WOMAN whose profile and pictures I was really attracted to would reject me...

I didn’t have to deal with any of that stuff that most guys get annoyed with when trying to find success on online dating sites.

I just logged into my account…

Went straight to my inbox…

And started replying to messages and setting up dates for the week.

And what’s more… whenever I wanted to implement this dating website “hack”, it only cost me about $22 bucks (and an occasional gift card to the movies).

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let’s back up a little bit.

First, you have to understand how frustrating sites like Match.com and OK cupid can be (from a guy's perspective), and MOST IMPORTANTLY, you need to understand WHY I'm even sharing this information with you in the first place.

If you've been following me for a while, then you know that this blog was created to share practical insights to help you create life on YOUR terms - in a fun and entertaining way.

Well, from what my friends told me when I first shared this story with them, it's fun and entertaining as hell !!

But there's a more crucial point.

Listen up, this is important.

As you already know, there are often going to be parts of your life, where you're unhappy with the results you're getting. 

For me, back around 2010/2011, online dating was one those areas where I wanted massive improvement.

So, if one of the main goals of this website is to give you practical insights as to how you can better create life on YOUR terms...

Then one of the best ways for me to do that, is to share true (and entertaining) stories of how I created life on MY terms.

This is one of those stories.

Does this story contain really great advice on how to hack online dating?

I think so!

But more importantly it shows you my train of thought in developing a SOLUTION for an area of my life where I felt disempowered.

So, as you continue reading....

Don't just look at this as an entertaining dating-advice article. Look at is as an article on how to "hack life", so that you can get more of what YOU want!

OK, back to the story...

First, I'll share with you what reality is like for lots of men when it comes to online dating.

Then, I'll show you how I "hacked" a solution by asking myself one magic question (I'll reveal the "magic question" I asked myself in just a little bit ).

YES, Ladies. I realize that online dating can be difficult for you too; but a woman’s problem is that, often, she gets hit on TOO much.

Not only that... but frequently, the way men approach women on dating sites is sometimes “douch-tastic” or overbearing, to put it nicely.

I once had a female friend of mine tell me that on her FIRST DAY of signing up for a dating site, she had OVER 70 messages!

I WISH!!

Men, on the other hand,  have the exact opposite problem (unless, of course, they look like Channing Tatum or Shemar Moore).

Usually, men don’t get hit on a hundred times a day.  

Sometimes, we’re lucky if we get approached four times a week.

What’s worse...

We could spend countless hours sending dozens of messages to women we're interested in, and never hear so much as a peep back.

~ I’d take my time to go through each profile...

~ I’d find women I was genuinely attracted to...

~ I‘d write each woman a genuine/heart-felt message of interest based off of what I saw in her profile…

And you know how many replies I got back…

Damn near ZERO.

I tried to do things the “right” way, like a good-guy, and I pretty much got jack for it (I’m sure many of the guys reading this understand where I’m coming from).

To be fair... I will gladly acknowledge that there were numerous reasons for me not getting great response during my initial soiree into online dating. I made TONS of mistakes and there were a million things I could’ve done differently.

But here’s the bottom line…

Taking hours upon hours to go through hundreds of profiles and write unique messages, just to get a 0.0005% response rate from the women I was interested in, was NOT cutting it. Especially when I was so emotionally attached to whether or not they responded. 

So…

I asked myself the following question…

In a “perfect” world, what would online dating look like for me?

(Side Note: That question I just posed - “In a perfect world, what would this look like for me?” -  is the “sexy” of this article. THIS is the ONE QUESTION you need to ask yourself in ANY area of your life where you feel unsatisfied. If you don't start off with a clear picture of what things would look like in a "perfect world",  you'll have practically zero chance of creating the life you want.)

This is the "magic question" I was referring to earlier.

See, I told you I'd tell it to you 

Anyway, as I was saying -

OK, first step done.

I had clearly defined the end result I wanted.

But how was I going to make it a reality for myself (especially given the fact that most women want/expect the guy to make the first move)?

A pretty great idea if I do say so myself.

But how would this work?

How would my “dating assistant” know who to hit on for me?

How would I make sure that she wasn’t reaching out to women who I didn’t find attractive?

I certainly wouldn’t want to have to respond to some poor girl and say:

So, being the solution-oriented individual that I am, I came up with a plan.

Here’s what I did…

YES... I hired someone to reach out to women for me.

At the time, I had a stay at home mom who was doing part-time subcontract work for me in my internet business.

She was managing my social media accounts and helping me write content for one of my blogs. I was paying her about $11/Hour

I asked her if she’d be interested in logging into the online dating sites where I had memberships, and sending messages to women for me?

As for her response…

Well, let’s just say her response was NOT what I was expecting.

I ended up sending her and her husband a movie gift-card just to be nice.  

Hence the title of this blog-post:

But I only sent the movie gift-card once. So I guess the real title of this blog post should be “How I Hacked Online Dating For $11/Hour”... but whatever. You’ve read this far so I’m pretty sure you couldn’t give two flips about the gift card. Besides… today, you could probably outsource this to someone in Singapore for $5/hour.

But I digress.

Let’s continue...

One of the most important parts of this online dating hack is to remember that PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS.

I know what it’s like to be rejected. I know what it’s like to think someone is interested in you, only to be let down and find out that they aren't.

I never want to make anyone feel that way.

So, I showed my new dating assistant EXACTLY what type of woman I was interested in, told her to err on the side of caution, and after our training was complete, I gave her the “Who Would You Hit On?” quiz.

That's right... I gave her pre-written templates to make her job easier.

OK, pay close attention here because this is where things get a little tricky.

I wanted my new dating assistant to be both efficient and effective in what she was doing. But having her come up with a unique message each time she wanted to reach out to someone is not at all efficient.

On the flip side of the coin, I didn’t want her just copying & pasting the same message over and over.  Because, while that may be efficient, that shit is super obvious and would likely be less effective in getting good results.

So, I came up with a twist on an idea that marketers have been using for years.

It's called...

PRE-WRITTEN MESSAGES WITH DYNAMIC WORD INSERTION POINTS!

WAIT.... WHAAAT?

This is just a fancy way of saying...

Pre-written email messags my assistant can copy & paste… but with certain parts of the email left blank so the message could be personalized.

I know... It's AWESOME, right?

When my assistant would send an email to a woman, she’d start with a template. But the template would have areas for her to fill in the blanks with something unique from the person’s profile we were messaging.

You know, kind of like a customized message for each person, but the basic template was the same.

OK, let's break this down...

You’ll see here, that this message starts off with a subject line that, I can bet you, no-one else has sent her. This is absolutely critical for grabbing attention.

Next, you’ll see that there are FILL-IN-THE- BLANKS for personalization purposes.

The first _________ is where we put her username (or her real name if she gives it).

In this example, let's pretend the woman's username is PenguinGirl86, or, you actually read her profile and found out her real name is Connie.

Now, let’s pretend that in one of her pictures, she’s standing next to a 6ft tall giant stuffed penguin.

If that’s the case,  then the wording we’d use to fill in the rest of the blanks would be “stuffed penguin”.

It would read something like:

You get the idea.

The point here is that for each woman who gets a message, we find something specific on her profile to use to fill in the blank. This allows us to personalize each message while still being very efficient time-wise.

All in all, we had about 3 or 4 different email templates we would rotate through.

Now that my new dating assistant had everything she needed, there was just one thing left.

After a little trial and error, my new dating assistant found the most efficient way to accomplish the work (which was great for me because I was paying her by the hour).

What she found was that by creating a little spreadsheet, she could do the work in chunks and track everything we were doing.

My assistant found that the most efficient thing to do was:

1. Go onto ONE dating site and find all of the usernames of women I would be attracted to.

2. Paste the username on the spreadsheet, and while on the page, find the unique thing about her profile and paste that into the spreadsheet as well 

3. Once she had about 20 or so usernames and unique profile items, she’d go through and just copy and paste the pre-written messages, and personalize each email with the unique profile item she’d already put in her spreadsheet.

We found that once she had her system down, she could enter about 30 or so profile names and unique profile items into the spreadsheet in about an hour. 

Then, after that hour was done, she’d go back and do all of the emails at once.

This turned out to be wwwaaayyy more efficient than doing the entire process for each profile we liked.

Also, in creating the list FIRST, I had a chance to go through and check on things BEFORE she sent the emails out (which was great for ensuring we didn’t accidentally email someone I wasn’t interested in).

Now, if you’re thinking to yourself that this entire process is a little much, well… you’re not wrong.

The thing you need to understand is that I’m an internet marketer by profession. And I LOVE learning about things like psychology, efficacy, and problem solving.

The reason for all of the different columns in the spreadsheet and the tracking of the email reply rates was so that we could figure out what worked the best.

I certainly don’t expect you to take it as far as I did.

I just figured that while we were doing the work, we might as well track our progress.

Eventually, my assistant got REALLY efficient at doing this. She even got her husband to weigh in and give his opinion if there was a profile she wasn’t sure about.

And when I logged into my accounts on Match.com (or wherever), I would go straight to my inbox, see who replied, respond back, and hopefully set up a date for the near future.

Before long, it go to the point that I had to tell her to stop because I was talking to too many women. But if I ever wanted to ramp things back up, she could do so in about 2 hours.

I’ll close with this...

Fellas. If you end up using this online dating hack... PLEASE don’t be a dick. Don’t just message every woman out there. Please only message the ones you GENUINELY  WANT to talk to.

The point of me coming up with this system was so that that I could stop spending countless hours perusing profiles and getting emotionally attached  to certain women I’d messaged; not to just hit on everyone.

One last  thing…

As I said in the beginning of this article, the main purpose of me sharing this with you, was so that you could see the problem-solving thought process I went through in turning around an area of my life where I felt disempowered.

So, here's your homework....

1. Find an area of your life where you'd like to have better results.

2. Ask yourself the "magic question"; In a perfect world, what would this look like for me?”

3. Come up with a game plan to work toward achieving what you want that area of your life to look like.

Think a little outside the box, be flexible in your approach, and seek out some who may have already accomplished what you're looking to do.

My guess is that the solution is closer than you think!

In addition to "hacking" dating, I've also hacked overcoming stage fright.

If you get nervous whenever you stand up to speak in public (or heck, even if you get nervous to speak when you're on a date), then click the button below and discover the 30-second hack to overcome your nervousness around public speaking.

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